Weigh-In

Here I am again mid-week telling ya'll how I'm doing.  I would be happy for more comments if anyone's out there, or maybe if some of you want to join in? :)

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So how is everything going?

My Goals

• Weigh 158 by May!  (9 months on - 9 months off)
• Finish 90 days of P90X also scheduled in May.

Food

I had a difficult day yesterday when we were at youth group.  I brought salad that I ate, but I also had 2 pieces of pizza, like 4 pieces of french bread with pudding in it and a small chocolate cupcake!!!  For shame! lol  One of each of those things would have been better, but what is past is past, now I...
... "Reach forward to what lies ahead" - Phil. 3:13

Water

Again - I have not made it to 8 cups a day!  Why is this so hard for me?

Exercise

I am now in Week 2 of P90X and it's feeling pretty good!  I am burning a good amount of calories and I think I am already seeing a difference in my overall shape :).  No pictures till 30 days though :).

• 'Yoga X' was pretty hard last Thursday.  I made sure my knees were off the ground this time for every upward-dog position!  Yaay!  I can't wait to find my sweet spot in the crane balance pose!  I want it so bad!  And just to stay standing on one leg the whole time during "standing splits" is going to be my goal!
• 'Legs and Back' on Friday felt great!  I remember doing the first set of wall squats, I was feeling the muscles in my legs thinking "wow they are there!" yaay!  I felt strong that day.
• 'Kenpo X' was actually more fun and a little easier than I remember doing in the past.  But I couldn't remember that is was THIS DVD that keeps you moving with all the jumping-jacks and X-jumps in between!  Maybe I need to BRING IT more this Saturday to be more sore this Sunday :).
• Sunday I did not do 'Stretch X' as we went out for Valentine's day :).  But we did end up dancing for about an hour, we were sweaty, so I know that was a good alternative! :)
• 'Chest and Back' on Monday was a little disappointing at first because I really want to be better with deeper push-ups (on my knees) and more reps on pull-ups (with a chair), but when we went back to repeat movements I was proud to have up'd my numbers by 2 on all the ones I could do!
• 'Plyometrics' yesterday was hard on my knee, which is still a little sore today.  My heart-rate didn't go too high which felt nice.  My lungs were still sore afterwards, so I know it was a good workout!
• Last week I forgot to update on 'Ab Ripper X'!  This we do 3 times a week on all our lifting days, not on our cardio days.  So I have already done it 5 times with no update!  The first 4 moves I have to PUSH myself to do 20 reps when we are supposed to do 25, and BOY do they hurt!  Most the moves I modify just to get them done, like holding my calves up a little with my hands, or only lifting one leg when we go to the side.  I hate that something in my back pops every-time I do "hip-rock and raise", but I'm glad it doesn't hurt.  I do like Ab Ripper X since it attacks my biggest "problem area", so I really try to push myself to my best!

Challenges

I am still struggling with balance.  I don't want my priorities to be off.  If I can make time for this in my life, I should be able to make time for other things as well.  This just happens because I want it so bad.  Lord help me to be determined in more things than this!

Successes

I am on week two with no feelings of wanting to skip a day or give up yet!  That is pretty tremendous for me!

Plans for the Week

Straighten my priorities to be a determined person in all things!

Motivation

This is a picture back from July of 2009 when I was about 5 pounds less than what I weigh now.  I still wear these jeans (baggy) and this belt, but I am not using that flower hole yet.

This will be a smaller first goal for me :)  Baby steps.

My Weight loss Plan

:) Okay so now that I am out of "my cloud", last week I started watching my weight again.


In case you haven't been reading, here is...

My Back Story:
In May 2009 I was 185 lbs (highest ever).
I got down as low as 158 lbs in December 2009 (27 lbs lost in 7 months).
Then I got pregnant and went up to 185 lbs again :) a good gain.

I was done making excuses before and am not going back! No more poor eating habits and excess weight. I want to be healthy and LIVING when it is my turn to be a grandma!


My Goals:
My all time goal is to get down to 130(ish) - I'll start to see what is reasonable when I get there.
That is a 40 lb loss, reasonably by December of 2011 when I stay on track.

My first goal will be to hit my pre-pregnancy weight first though :)  158 lbs by May!  When I hit that first goal my planned reward is a pair of new jeans!

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So how's everything going?

Food

I am following the old Weight Watchers program on my own from home.  I randomly decided to start in the middle of the week because I figured five days of good habits for one week was better than none :).  I am glad I did!

Water

More than before is always better - this is always a struggle of mine.

Exercise

Didn't happen last week.  I am going to work on a tangible home schedule/routine to follow with exercise on there!

Challenges

What was hard last week was dealing with my own attitude. When I want to change and get better but others don't, it bugs me.  I know I cannot force good habits on others.  I have been praying that I would see how selfish I am to not take care of myself, so as to not push my own personal conviction on others :(.

Successes

It was a good week, even though it wasn't technically a full one.  I was happy also to do well even though we had gone out to eat a couple times.  It is always nice to know you could make good choices while you are out, but it is another thing all together to actually DO IT! :)!

Plans for the Week

More water.  Exercise.  Set up a schedule/routine and follow it!

Motivation

I took some new "start" weight photos today!  And I was brave this time, but I won't share the full shots till I get some better after shots going! :) I was a little encouraged by the Biggest Loser I think!

So ideally I would like to see less around the tummy - front, sides and back.
But on top of that (good Lord willing) I would also like to have less on my arms and neck too.

The Cloud I've been Hiding In

I haven't been blogging much lately.

I've really been out of sorts with things these past two months or so.

I am just now finding my desire for interests again.

And now that I feel I am back into the swing of life again and am remembering THIS post from November and I am thinking back on having my other babies. I always went through about a 3 month funk! Whatever that funk is attributed to (postpartum depression, sleep deprivation, life-style adjustments, spiritual warfare, selfishness...) I feel I'm adjusting and coming out from behind the cloud now :)! Thank the Maker.

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Let me attempt at an update with the few pics I have taken from within "the cloud".

Back in September I became an Independent Mary Kay Beauty Consultant :) My first quarter through the middle of December went well as I was really trying to follow a work plan and set goals for myself. The start of my second quarter was very slow and now that I am "awake, alive" (see video below) and interested again it is all picking back up. God is faithful when I put even the smallest effort, He is good to bless me :).

This picture is meant to show you that I finally picked a lip color for myself :)...

While ditching out on MK goals and spending time trying to sleep or tv (= movies on my laptop, E.R. online, or Glee) my problems away my adorable little man has been growing like a weed! So cute he is! Squish-able in point of fact...

Even when I was at my worst these little people God is letting me borrow would smile at me and I knew I was still okay somewhere deep down...

Also while my little man was growing like a weed, my older girl turned 6!...

My younger girl turned 3...

And yes that big little man turned 6 months old! A whole 1/2 a year when it has seemed more like 2 months...

I LOVE him! He still smiles and giggles in his sleep. He is starting to roll a lot more on the floor not minding to be on his tummy. He will probably be in a size 4 diaper soon and is wearing mostly 9 month clothes. He has been eating rice cereal for about a week now and I think is definitely teething with the amount of drooling, gnawing, waking and fussiness. Clearly his favorite person is his Daddy and his favorite thing is a toss-up between the bouncer and his fuzzy blankie :)

Don't you just wanna chew on him? Muh!...

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If you actually read my post and didn't just scroll through my pictures and comment (which I am guilty of doing occasionally) you might wonder what I meant by mentioning being "awake and alive".

It's one of my favorite songs, by probably my favorite Christian band.

The song talks about being at war and being pulled into the dark (my cloud).

Lord I've struggled to find my faith as I've let myself slip from your arms. It's been hard to stay awake since I ironically wanted to sleep to escape the numbness, that feeling that seemed to drain my strength. But You've breathed into me and now I am awake and alive again! I'm fighting! I'll do what You want. I give You my life. I stand my ground. Help me not to back down! You've woken me up, thank You! I give You my heart. I give You my life.

Now out of that cloud hopefully I will once again be a "living" part of the community both blog and otherwise again :).

Thanks for reading - please comment so I know you are here too :).

May you always walk and talk with Jesus!

I miss our friends!

It's been a while now since I saw a couple of friends of ours that are like family to us. They are "Uncle and Aunt" to our kids even though there is no relation but through Christ :).

We were supposed to hang out with them today, but they were not feeling well. Our oldest was coughing too though and since their little man had surgery a little while ago I didn't want to expose them to more germs anyway.

I really hope we get to hang out soon!

He are some pics of when we hung out with them for like a whole weekend in September of 2010. These are our youngest two sleeping next to each other on the beach! SO MUCH FUN!...

My Walk

After watching a new Veggie Tails Video with my kids this morning (thank you DeAnna) I feel like God has clarified the conviction in my heart. It has been hard to be obedient in becoming a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant because I am not one that is into fashion and make-up wearing 24-7.

Not that that is all Mary Kay is about, because it's not, but in my obedience my enemy has been trying to fill my thoughts with a number of lies and discouragements.

This video (meant for my kids, but ministered to me) really showed me that the feeling in my heart, the conflict against selling "beauty products" is that I need to focus on making my heart, my motives, my intentions and my self beautiful on the inside first.

And even more so, then God will be able to use me as a beauty consultant for His kingdom! :)

I am doing this in obedience to Him, but I also want to make sure I am doing it FOR Him. What you pour into a vessel is what you will get out of it. If I pour in the beauty of His word, prayer, fellowship, and encouragement to the woman I am in contact with I know HIS beauty will be much better than my own :).

My Walk Monday

I'm struggling today, I just want to run to sleep instead of Jesus. If I sleep my troubles will magically disappear, right? Here I am now, I may not look like I am fighting the battle, but I am because I am getting in His word and am not asleep!

Anyway...

I know I must seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and the rest of my life should fall in line. It is on my heart to take each day at a time, so here I go...

I have decided I work well off of goals and plans, and I know I have not read my Bible all the way through... so though it may take me more than a year I decided that I am going to follow a yearly reading plan that gives me a little bit of the new and old testament everyday.

Happy Baby - Crazy Mommy!

This makes me happy! How 'bout you? :)

My postpartum depression has kicked in! Just this past week or so. Please pray for me.

• It is hard to be agitated and irritable when you have 4 kids.
• It is hard to cry at the drop of a hat (or a cup of water, or a loud toy, or some food on the carpet, you get my point).
• It is hard not to be able to sleep when you know you will need the sleep the next day.
• It is hard when my memory goes out the window about something important that my husband shared with me when I then want to argue with him that he did not tell me and I am crying saying I wish he would have warned me first.
• It is hard feeling like I don't do anything right and I am a no good mommy!
• It is hard to feel withdrawn from the outside world when you are actually there!
• It is hard not to enjoy what I know I would usually enjoy!
• It is hard that all I want to do is sleep when all I have to do doesn't get done, then I cry about it not getting done!
• It is hard to not be able to handle the cry of my own baby!!!

Please pray for me.

All things are possible with God.

He will never give us something we cannot handle.

Though my weakness He is strong.

He will never leave me, nor forsake me.

With Him nothing is impossible!

Starting Monday Right

So it's been over 4 months since I last blogged for My Walk Monday! So sad because I KNOW this is a good thing for me. I was actually reminded of it by a very sweet blog friend (Angela at Free Spirit Haven) who wrote a couple comments to me recently. She said she hadn't come by in a while and it made me remember I always used to see her when she was doing My Walk Monday all the time. I miss her! I miss you all - my blog friends!

So what about my walk for the week?

Yesterday at church I was blessed to be thinking on things we can sacrifice for the Lord, or ways that we can lose our life to gain it. The first thing the Lord showed me when I was thinking was that I can sacrifice my time.... I can sacrifice rest and laziness :). Recently He has called me into starting a home business with Mary Kay. This has been filling my schedule quite a bit, along with homeschooling, homemaking and mommying 4 kids 5 and under. I love that He also used this to give me confirmation on the new busyness I have, so I know I don't need to let anything go :).

Also recently I have been reading little bits at a time out of Acts 1. As I said I was super blessed to have confirmation from the Lord, but I am also excited to know He cares to comfort us :).

Acts 1 : 10 & 11 during Christ's Ascension into heaven they gazed intently into the sky while He was going... I would imagine if I were in their shoes that this would be a sad time for me, I would not being seeing Him again. But two men in white clothing stood beside them saying, "Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into the sky? This Jesus, who has been taken up from you into heaven, will come in just the same way as you have watched Him go into heaven." - so comforting and encouraging that God would send two angels to stand with them right at this time and share this happy news with them!

How much more does He want to comfort us in other sad times, or times of need? I love Him for this!

This was a very sweet way to start my day this morning :).

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Hmmm... I would also like to share a new song I learned yesterday morning during worship...

I just loved it...

It is called "God of this City" and it's by Chris Tomlin...

Let us lose our lives, get out of ourselves and BE there for others! Let us love on the people He loves! He calls us to greater things, we only have to be willing to accept the gifts He gives. He alone gives hope, He alone gives peace, there is no one like our God!

Update on Homeschooling

It's been over a month and a half now :).

It was all so exciting at the beginning, and it still is, to be able to see the way my daughter thinks and processes thought is amazing to me! She is a lot like her daddy and I think he is a genius in many ways!

We got sick two weeks ago which truthfully made me FAR too lax with our starting time, which then rolled over into a bad habit for last week! Tomorrow - for the start of this next week I am determined for this habit not to continue!

My daughter is doing so well though, regardless of our "flexible" schedule. She is flying through math like it is all review even though she never went to pre-school to officially learn these basics (she just loves knowledge:).

Language arts is going great for her. She is loving all the different fairy-tails and definitely enjoys making alternate endings and illustrations of her own!

Here is a picture I took while we were acting out scenes from Cinderella :)...

Phonics she flies right through as well even though she has never done it. She knows that this is what will teach her to read, which she has so wanted for about a year now! She has had certain books memorized by recognizing what is going on in the illustrations for a while!

This is JJ during Phonics tugging her ear to show me that a certain word had the "secret sound" we were looking for :) so cute!

Art and Music are OBvioUSly great fun! She loves to spend extra time in art class. And as for music, she memorizes the songs so sticking fast!!! I am so proud, she recognizes melodies and rhythm so well. She even sings the songs so often just through her day of play that her little brother and sister as learning her songs as well!

Science and History are so new to her that she gets a little frustrated sometimes when she has to try a little harder to pay attention, but she really does enjoy learning! I am even re-learning some of the things I know I have forgotten from History. We have been taking a "trip" of Europe and she is doing well well recognizing all the different countries on that continent!

Last week learning about the Netherlands we made a dike and canal out of play-doh. See "Mr. Traveler" there safe on the land? :)!

We have even made some time to involve my older little man who will be in Kindergarten next year. Just since his older sister has started school he has sprouted into quite the artist! We are so proud of him!

We are also very excited to say that our son is now Born-again! I make time for a little worship, Bible time and prayer most morning (sadly not every morning depending on when we start). But during one of those times he wanted to pray to welcome Jesus to come and live in his heart! :)

Actually just this morning JJ was "preaching" at my husband... "Daddy did you know that you have to be born twice to go to heaven? You have to let Jesus in your heart which means you are born-again. Daddy are you born-again?" I LOVE LOVE LOVE that she asked him this because it shows just how much she cares for him, she cares about his eternal well-being! ... preach it sister... I mean daughter! :)

Thank You Lord. I definitely see where You have given us these kids as a blessing and a reward, though I don't often feel worthy I do always feel thankful! I love You!

A correct depiction...

... of how I am feeling right now :) ...

(My little man yawning September 1st 2010)